Chapter 20 - All I need is him and him alone (A)
This is harder than I thought; leaving Jason behind. A while ago it felt the right thing to do when I saw the pained look on his face after my confession. But now, I don't know if I can do it; I know he doesn't love me, yet I can't stay away from him. It's nearly two hours since he left me in the park and I already miss him; how can I stay forever away from him? That's not possible or maybe I will get used to it.
I should have told him the complete truth and let him decide, instead I ran away like I always did. I know it's time to move on, but this time I can't. I really can't leave him behind; I love him so much that it literally pains my heart knowing I can never see the beautiful smile that he only gives me, I can never feel safe and protected in his arms anymore and that I can never kiss him like he is all I needed.
I don't think I can do this anymore. It's been ten minutes since the taxi left but here I am, still standing on the airport's curb unable to get inside, with my legs feeling like jelly and my mind having an argument of its own.
"What are you doing here?" I heard a familiar voice to my left and turned around only to be greeted with the person I am running away from; Jason
How did he reach so fast? I thought he wouldn't go to our hotel room until midnight since he might not want to see me. But here he is, face flushed and looked like he ran a marathon.
"Why didn't you leave?" he asked slowly with moist eyes, his voice cracking.
"I couldn't leave you" I said barely in a whisper lowering my head.
He tilted my chin up with a small smile and said "I am glad you didn't"
When I didn't reply anything he took a step back and continued "I am sorry Anns, I really am. I shouldn't have said those things to you but that doesn't mean I don't trust you. I was shocked and angry, that's it. I don't want to lose you, please give me one more chance to prove myself"
How can I leave now, when he said those beautiful words to me? How did I get lucky to find a man like him? How can a guy be so sweet?
I know I still didn't get an answer for my confession and I don't know if he will ever love me back the way I do but I don't care about anything else, now that I realized all I need is him and him alone.
I nodded and ran into his arms unable to control the tears any longer and held him tight while he wound his arms around my waist pulling me closer.
"Shush.. Please don't cry. I hate it when you do, especially when I am the reason" he said softly.
Wiping the tears off my face and trying to smile I replied "I won't"
"That's my girl" He said with a lopsided smile and pulled me towards his car while carrying my bag.
I must have looked like an idiot to him when he saw me at the entrance of the airport; I wrote a good bye letter, packed my luggage and came here only to stay behind like a fool.
The drive was silent and it took 50 minutes with the heavy traffic to reach the hotel. Finally when we reached the room I slowly said "I want to tell you what happened"
"It can wait Anns, you are tired" he mumbled with a sigh.
"No. I don't want this to repeat again, I want you to know"
"I pretty much have an idea what happened. But if you're sure you want to, please continue"
I don't know how much he deduced but I want him to know the complete truth this time.
I know remembering all of that will bring nothing but pain but he has the right to know especially after what happened today. If telling the truth gives me a chance to be with him, then I am ready to endure any kind of pain. And so I slowly started "All of this mess started five years ago when my dad lost his job. He was a commodity broker while my mom was a finance adviser; they had me when they were still in high school. We were a happy family once; everything was perfect"
"Sadly, everything changed for me the day my dad lost his job and was addicted to drugs. Sometimes he used to come late at night and start abusing me for ruining his life; Why, I had no idea. I think he didn't know what he was saying half the time. Sometimes he used to gamble, get drunk and beat the shit out of me until he got tired or passed out"
Trying to control the tears threatening to escape, I bit my lip thinking I still have the worst part to say; I have to be strong. Seeing my weakness, Jason pulled me down to the bed and made me sit on his lap while rubbing my back saying soothing words.
"We can have this discussion later Anns, you don't have to do it" he said calmly.
I don't want to go through this again, it's now or never and so I continued "My mom had been busy travelling with clients while I had to put up with my dad, she didn't know what was happening at our home. I never said anything to her whenever she returned from her business meetings scared of losing my once perfect family. She knew he was different but thought he was mentally stressed from losing his job and used to advise me to take care of him"
"She thought he was drinking and tried to provide moral support whenever she was there; but she was hardly ever home and my dad tried to be normal whenever she was"
"I didn't tell what's happening at my house to any of my friends, not even Emily who was my best friend then not wanting to let them know my once perfect dad had turned to Satan's own spawn"
"This continued for almost six months until one night all hell broke loose; that night he came home completely drunk along with Emily's dad Richard and started a second round of drinks. I knew Richard was friends with my dad, what I didn't know was that he did drugs too"
"I was shocked to see them drinking in our living room but ignored and went to the kitchen to have water; When I made my way back to their room, Richard stood at the bottom of the stairs and blocked me from going to my room; something in my mind told me to stay away from him and I was scared seeing him like that though I knew him since I was a kid"
"Everything happened so fast after that, he tried to grab me the same time I pushed him. Once he landed on the floor I quickly ran away from him and locked myself in the basement"
"Just when I thought I was lucky to escape him, the door opened suddenly and he emerged with an evil smile. I was beyond scared when I saw him advance towards me that my legs refused to move. It took me few seconds to come out of the shock and run away from him crying for my dad to help, but he didn't come. I tried running around the basement until he caught me and pinned me against a wall"
By this time, I am sobbing hysterically while the man I loved held me tight and ordered me to stop, but I didn't. "I --- I tried hitting his chest and legs but no--- nothing worked out; I was locked between his hands. And-and then he-he" hiccup--- hiccup "he pulled down my-- my pajamas and---" hiccup "tried to grab my top off with his hand"
"I struggled under his strength to keep my top intact gripping it with one of my hands while trying to get him off me. I was scared that I was losing my strength and couldn't do anything about it until I found a vase beside me on the night stand and grabbed it before successfully banging it hard on his head"
"He fell down instantly and I made a run for the door only to realize it's locked. I banged the door repeatedly crying and shouting at my dad to open the door but he didn't. Hours passed with me sitting at the door and sobbing scared that Richard might come back"
"When I found out he wasn't moving and might be dead, I finally gathered courage and walked to him; taking his mobile from his pockets I called 911. Fifteen minutes later they reached my house and it was then I realized I spent more than six hours crying for help sitting at the door"
"After getting medical aid, I was arrested and put in jail for killing Richard; Since my mom was far away I called my aunt who lives an hour away from my home town. She was the one who appointed attorney to help me while mom never bothered to visit me even after returning from her business assignments. She helped my dad get a fair trial completely ignoring the fact that she had a daughter"
"I was released when it was proven that I'm not guilty while my dad was sent to rehab. But the happiness didn't last when I realized my own mom disowned me. She told me to leave her house and I had nowhere to go. Luckily my aunt fought against her sister and threatened to file a case against her for leaving her own daughter. After a number of discussions and threats she finally agreed to pay me until I completed college and that's why I started working ever since to make my own living and saved money"
"That's my story Jason. I told you it would be boring" I said looking directly at him for the first time.
"Oh My God" he said still in shock "I definitely didn't expect this, I am so sorry Anns"
"I want to sleep" I said ignoring him.
"I'll order food and then you can sleep" he ordered.
After having dinner we slept on the bed with none of us saying a single word.
By the time I woke up the next morning, Jason was sitting on a chair beside the bed gazing at me lost in thoughts. "What are you thinking Jace?" I asked stifling a yawn.
"N-Nothing. Get ready, we'll start early" he said getting up while I seized his wrist stopping him from moving away. "Tell me Jason, please. If you wanted to ask something, you can"
Sighing he replied "I don't want to cause any more mental stress"
"I am alright. You can ask me anything, we'll get it over with for once and all"
"Why didn't your mom believe you? I mean you're her own blood, right?" He said his eyebrows furrowed together.
"To tell you the truth, I don't even know. I think it has got to do with something my dad told her, maybe he poisoned her mind. I don't even care now"
"But she is your mother. How can she trust her husband and not her daughter?"
"I don't know Jason. Maybe she trusts and loves him so much than me; after all they knew each other since they were kids and were married at 18, who'd marry at that age if they're not very much in love. Even when I was a kid, I always admired them and wanted love like theirs; pure and selfless. They were so perfect together."
"Why didn't Emily know what happened? Why does she hate you?"
"I killed her father, didn't I? She didn't know what happened to me Jason. Since I was twelve, my attorney requested the court sessions to be private and no one apart from my aunt and Emily's mom were present during the trials. However, after the verdict was out, Em's mom requested me to not tell anything to her daughter. She wanted her children to think of their dad as a role model and not a criminal. I had to obey her Jace; she was like my own mother"
"How selfish of her!!" he exclaimed.
When I didn't say anything he asked again "You left your home town because your mom told you to?"
"That was one of the reasons; Emily made my life miserable at school, everyone accused me for killing Richard and breaking up a family. I had to endure all of that for 2 months until exams completed and I left to my aunt's town along with her"
"You stayed with your aunt?" he questioned.
"Yep. My aunt stayed with me those two months until school completed and took me along with her for summer holidays. After that, I left to a new place and started everything fresh with her help"
"Why didn't you stay with her? At a single place?" he asked softly.
"She had a family; I didn't want to be a burden to her. Moreover I wanted to start fresh where no one knew what happened to me"
"After that I had to move from one city to another scared that if I stayed long people might find out about me"
"You did nothing wrong Anns. What if someone knew?" he asked calmly.
"People would either pity me or blame me; I don't want either of it to happen"
"Not everyone is like that baby. How would anyone know? You can't run forever"
"The world is poisoned Jason; we live among people who feel happy for other's failures"
"Did something happen Anns? Are you hiding something from me?" he asked looking at me doubtfully.
Sighing I replied "The first year after I left my hometown, I tried to be normal; I tried to blend in and made friends in my new school. There was this girl named Melanie who never left my side, she was so close to me. However she always asked me why I don't stay with my parents, why I worked so much and finally threatened to tell me the truth if I really considered her a friend"
"I had to tell her everything after making her promise not to say a word of it. However I realized my mistake when the whole school talked about me the next day, few people fake pitied me while few accused me of being a slut. It was a bitter experience yet again"
"After that I decided not to have friends again; because if I do, they'd always have questions about my family and I can't risk telling the truth again. So, I tried to be invisible ever since but it never worked. I was bullied for being a nerd, for my horrible dress sense which seemed better than being accused a slut"
"Why did you listen to me? When I advised you to make friends" he said frowning.
"I don't know why I did. It's like I can never tell 'no' to you and you were being sweet to me though you knew nothing about me"
"Thanks for trusting me with your biggest secret" He sighed.
"Thanks for listening to my sob story patiently" I replied smiling and continued "It's like a big weight has been lifted off my chest"
"I'm glad you told me, I promise I'll never say a word of it"
"I know" I confessed.
"So--- shall we get going? I will order breakfast for us. What do you want? "
"Anything's fine for me. I'm very hungry" I replied rubbing my stomach.
After filling our stomachs, we left the place and drove back home, this time reaching my house exactly in four hours thirty five minutes.
"Don't drive around like a maniac" I said once I got down at my driveway with my bag.
"When did I ever do that?" he replied with mock innocent look.
"Shut up. I want you to be alive when I come to school tomorrow. Goodbye"
"That's it? You don't have anything else to say or do?" he scoffed.
I walked to the driver seat and kissed him before advising again to go slow and mumbled a quick bye.
As I entered the house I was greeted with a very angry Emily who was eyeing me like a tiger looking at its prey. I am screwed.
"I'm sorry, Jason didn't want me to tell you" I said giving my most innocent sorry look.
She crossed her arms "But I am your friend, you can't hide such an important thing from me. And since when did Jason become such a romantic?"
"Trust me, he isn't. He is just sweet" I stated sitting beside her on the couch.
"So, anything exciting happened?" she asked enthusiastically.
"Yeah. We went to a fair, had rides and played so many games. It was so good"
She scowled "I wasn't implying that"
"Then?" I looked at her expectantly giving 'I-don't-know-what-you-are-saying' look though I exactly know what she was asking.
"Never mind" she said sadly.
***************
The next day I ran into Jamie in the library who was busy doing her assignment just like me. Seeing me, she offered a small smile and continued doing whatever she's doing earlier.
I went to her and greeted "Hi"
I don't know what made me go and talk to her. Maybe it was because I think she is a good person underneath her fake bitchy attitude or maybe because she smiled at me though she was aware of me dating Jason.
"Hey. What's up?" she greeted with a genuine smile.
"Are you busy? Because if you're, I'll talk to you another time" I mumbled.
"Actually I am but I guess it can wait" She replied.
"Umm-I don't know what to say" I replied sheepishly.
She laughed "You can tell whatever you want to"
"I think you are a good girl" I blurted out.
She burst into laughter "Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah, maybe. Actually, a bit more. I know you love Jason and you were close to him at one time but--"
She scoffed "Since you are dating him now, I've to forget him. Is that what you wanted to say?"
Taken back by her sudden outburst, I softly said "No. Actually I wanted you to make amends to your friendship with him"
Her jaw dropped as she looked at me in shock before trying to regain her composure "So. You don't want me to stop loving him?"
"How can I say that? He is good looking, kind hearted, honest and the most amazing person I've ever met. Who wouldn't love him?"
"I can see why he likes you so much" she stated with a genuine smile.
"Thanks. And I always thought you are an amazing person. The only thing I didn't understand was why you behaved like that with cherry"
She sighed "She wasn't right for him. I know she's beautiful but she doesn't deserve him"
"Did you know she was cheating on him?"
"I always had a doubt but never tried digging into it. However I am happy he's got you. If anyone deserves him, I think it's you"
"Umm.. Thanks, I guess. So, I'll see you around?" I said getting up.
"Definitely" she responded waving me as I walked out of the library feeling genuinely happy.
---
Thank you so so much for reading. Please consider voting if you liked the chap.
This chap is dedicated to my friend Arnav_Khushi who ordered me to give a faster update. See babe, I kept my promise and updated in less than 15 hours.
So, what do you guys think about what happened to Anna? The loopholes you find in her past will be explained in the further chaps.
BTW did you see Jason use an endearment for Anna? He called her baby.. awww
Please share it to your friends if you liked the story
- Janaki
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