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DS8Uncovered #LuMa #BearCouple #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER 46: COMFORT

LUNA'S POV

I want to say I didn't know where I was when I opened my eyes, but I was already expecting that I would wake up in the hospital. There was even an oddly comforting feeling when I smelled the disinfectant they usually use here.

Iyong iba siguro mag-pa-panic kapag nagising sa ospital. Me? I just feel relieved. At least I'm in a place where people could do something to help me.

"Luna?"

My vision is still blurry, but I recognized the familiar voice of my brother Axel. Nang unti-unting luminaw ang mga mata ko ay mas naging klarado ang pag-aalala na nakabalatay sa mukha niya.

I opened my mouth to speak, and I was surprised by the cool sensation that flowed through me. Inangat ko ang kamay ko at dinala ko iyon sa mukha ko. They gave me a nasal cannula.

"You don't need to speak," my brother said hurriedly. "You're okay. You're in the hospital."

Inangat ko ulit ang kamay ko at nag-thumbs up ako. He smiled a little, but it looked forced. I scanned the room and that's when I realized that we weren't alone. Kuya Gun is sitting on the sofa with Circe, Ember, and Kuya Trace. Sa mas maliit na couch ay nandoon naman ang iba pang mga hipag ko habang nakatayo sa tabi ng upuan si Kuya Pierce.

"W-Where's my husband?"

I hate how my voice sounded so weak but given the last thing I remember that happened, I guess it's only normal.

Tumayo si Kuya Trace at lumapit sa kama. "We told him to buy food."

"I-Inutusan niyong bumili ng pagkain ang asawa ko?" Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata. "Wala ba kayong mga paa?"

Dinutdot niya ang noo ko. It's a reflex action which from the looks of it, he didn't expect himself to do. His wife hissed at him, and he scratched his head with a guilty look. "Sorry." Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na hininga. "Para sa kaniya ang pagkain. Mula ng dinala ka rito two days ago parang hindi na ata kumakain 'yon. Dinalan namin kahapon ng pagkain pero hindi naman ginalaw. Kaya ngayon nando'n sila ni Lia sa cafeteria para siguraduhin na kakain siya."

Two days ago? Magnus is probably dying of worry. He's left taking care of everything alone because I doubt he will blurt out my secrets to my family, so just someone could help him. Knowing him, kahit siguro tutukan siya ng baril ng mga kapatid ko ay hindi siya mapagsasalita.

"So..."

Tinaasan ko ng kilay si Kuya Trace. Para bang hindi siya mapakali sa kinatatayuan niya. "You want to pee? You can go. It's not like I'm going to lose consciousness again any minute."

Umangat ang kamay niya na parang uulitin niya ulit ang ginawa niya kanina pero napapailing na ibinaba niya iyon. "That's not it, stupid."

"You're stupid." Pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko pagkaraan. "What is it?"

"What is it ka riyan?" He crossed his arms. "Baka gusto mong magpaliwanag kung anong nangyayari."

I looked around me, and I realized why everyone's so quiet. They're all waiting for me to explain, and I have a feeling that they're preparing themselves for the worst. By now, they have probably formed their own speculations.

I met Mireia's eyes, and she gave me a small smile as if reassuring me. For some unknown reason, that gave me a little bit of comfort.

It's not like this moment wouldn't come. I know that I couldn't keep it forever. Maybe it is the right time, given how everything is going. And I wasn't lying during Ella's funeral. I was really considering telling them.

My lips parted, but before any word came out, the door opened. Pumasok mula roon si Lia na kasunod ang asawa ko.

Palalim nang palalim ang kunot sa noo ko habang pinagmamasdan ko si Magnus na lumiwanag ang mukha nang makita ako. He crossed the distance between us in just a few steps, but before he could say anything, I beat him to it.

"Who did that to my husband's face?"

It's like someone hit pause with the way everybody stilled. Itinulak ko ang sarili ko paupo na hindi naging madali. Mabuti na lang at kaagad umalalay sa akin si Magnus na may pinindot sa gilid ng kama para umangat ang ulunang bahagi niyon.

"Is it Kuya Thorn?" Bago pa makaalma si Lucienne ay umiling ako. "Nope. It's not him. He's too level-headed for that." Dumako ang mga mata ko kay Kuya Pierce. I was staring at him hard. It could be him, but there's another one who's more likely to be a candidate.

"It's me."

With the strength that even surprises me, I pulled the pillow under my head and threw it in my brother Gun's direction. Napapabuntong-hininga na sinalo lang iyon ng kapatid ko.

"LA, it's okay," Magnus said in a soft voice. Marahang hinawi niya ang buhok ko. "Your brother and I talked, and we're good."

"Well, I'm not good." Binigyan ko ng matalim na tingin si Kuya Gun. "You better explain yourself, Kuya, or I'm going to lose my mind."

"LA—"

"It was the heat of the moment. We were worried about you, and he wouldn't tell us what's wrong," Kuya Gun explained.

"So you just decided to force it out of him?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Sometimes I forget that even though my brothers are older than me and most of them matured early, it doesn't mean that from time to time they wouldn't transgress to teenage boys who only know how to talk through their fists. Lalo na si Kuya Gun na parang hindi nagising no'ng nagpasabog ng pasensya sa mundo.

"He..." Napakamot siya sa ulo niya. "Was very punchable at that moment."

I let out a huff and grabbed the first thing I could, which was a large alcohol bottle on the bedside table. Pero bago ko pa iyon maibato ay napigilan na ni Magnus ang kamay ko at kinuha iyon mula sa akin.

"You're also very punchable at this moment!" I hissed at my brother.

"Magnus and I—"

"I'm hell sure that you didn't apologize. I know you!" Napakamot siya sa ulo niya na ikinakumpirma lang lalo ng hinila ko. "You wouldn't be happy if someone hurt Lia." Isa-isa kong tinignan ang mga kapatid ko na hindi magawang salubungin ang mga mata ko. "None of you would. So don't expect me to just forget this. You hurt my husband! My husband. He's mine."

"Sabi naman kasi sa'yo dapat kay Trace mo binunton ang galit mo." Mahina lang ang pagkakasabi ni Lucienne niyon pero nakaabot pa rin iyon sa akin. Kung sa ibang pagkakataon siguro ay natawa ako pero hindi ko iyon magawa ngayon.

"LA." Magnus placed a hand on my chin, but I didn't turn to him because I was too busy giving my brother a death stare. "I'm really okay."

"I know you are. You're built like a frigging mountain, hubby bear. But that doesn't mean I'm okay with what happened." I wanted to stop my feet, but I couldn't. "Dapat gumanti ka. I'm pretty sure you can land a couple of punches in his very punchable face."

I heard the women snicker. Bihirang may nakikipagtalo kay Kuya Gun kaya sigurado akong ang entertaining ng sitwasyon para sa kanila. Kami lang kasi ata ni Lia ang malakas na loob ang makipagtigasan ng ulo sa kaniya.

"Masamang nagtatanim ng loob."

I scrunch my nose. "Of all people, I'm sure you're on the list of those who don't care about that."

"Well, yeah. But they're family, and they really love you. I deserve to be punched if I'm being honest—"

"You didn't," magkasabay na sabi namin ni Kuya Gun. My brother sighed and continued, "I apologize for acting like a complete neanderthal."

Tinanguhan siya ni Magnus bago humarap sa akin ang lalaki. "You just woke up, LA. Stop straining yourself."

I crossed my arms without saying anything, ignoring the IV line attached to me. Nasa ganoon akong ayos nang bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok ang iba ko pang mga kapatid sa pangunguna ni Kuya Thorn na halata ang pagod sa mukha. Some of the worry on his face lifted when he saw that I was awake.

"How are you feeling?" The eldest Dawson asked.

"Tired and annoyed."

"The first one is understandable." He turned to look at Kuya Gun. "The second one is also understandable."

Napuno ng katahimikan ang paligid. All attention is on me, but I couldn't find it in me to say anything. Naramdaman kong inabot ni Magnus ang kamay ko dahilan para mapatingin ako sa kaniya.

I can tell my family everything, and I know he'll be with me. I can also choose not to say anything, and he will still support my decision. Even before I was made aware of his feelings, the way Magnus keeps his promise to me is one of the things I really appreciate about him. When the pretend version of us became our reality, I realized that it wasn't just because he's the kind of person who doesn't go back on his word. It's because that's how he loves.

He's extremely loyal. He'll forsake the rest of the world for the person he loves. It gives me a peculiar sense of satisfaction knowing that he's only like that to me. But sometimes the way he loves me worries me because I'm familiar with how he does it. My father loved my mother the same way, and I saw how much it broke him in the end.

Pen...

"What happened to Finnegan?" Sinaklot ng kaba ang dibdib ko nang mapatingin ako kay Kuya Thorn. "Is he..."

"He's okay. Some Dagger men were in the area already at that time."

"Pen did something impulsive, didn't he?"

"He did."

I should have expected that. Siguradong gusto niya lang maunahan ang Dagger kaya naging padalos-dalos siya. I'm still giving him a story anyway, so there's no need for that. I let out a relieved breath. "Where is he? What happened? Did he... is there any news about... him?"

"Carpio is at home and recovering. Nadaplisan lang siya ng bala. Pinauwi na siya kahapon." Humila siya ng upuan at inilagay niya iyon sa tabi ko para makaupo siya. By the looks of it, he hasn't had any decent sleep for the past two days. Or maybe more. Sobrang busy din kasi talaga nila sa Dagger. "They found him."

This time, the squeezing in my heart feels different. It's hard to explain. It's like I couldn't breathe from all the whirlwind of emotions swirling around me. It was so overwhelming that I couldn't even utter one word.

"Is he... is he alive? O-Or is he not? Why... how?"

I've thought about how I would feel if this day came. How much would we grieve again if we found out that he's really gone? And how painful would it be if he's alive but he just didn't come home to us?

I fought through the tears that wanted to freely fall. My husband's hand reached for mine for comfort, but all I could do was look at my older brother.

"Kuya... please."

"He's alive."

The way he said it, it was as if he couldn't even believe it himself. That saying the words feels as strange as hearing them from him.

"D-Did you see him?"

Nang tumango siya ay tuluyan nang nagpatakan ang luha mula sa mga mata ko. At the next moment, I found myself engulfed in my brother's arms.

I didn't know it was possible. I know that they'll tell me everything soon. But at this very moment, I don't care about anything except for the fact that we really have him back.

I got my answer. Hindi mahalaga kung bakit hindi niya kami hinanap. Hindi na mahalaga kung bakit hinayaan niya kaming isipin na wala na siya sa loob ng maraming taon. We have him back, and that's what matters.

I got him back, and now I can finally be at ease. At least they got him, even if they lose me. At least there's that.

"Kuya..."

"Tell me," he whispered in my ear. "We'll be okay. Tell us, Luna, please."

I will always be thankful that they let my secret get this far. They could have found out about it, even if it meant violating the law to do so. But they trusted my decisions, even if they didn't know what they were about. They might not like it, especially when they finally know what it is about, but they gave me time, and that's enough.

I grip on his shoulders, tightening my hold on him. Naramdaman kong humigpit din ang yakap niya sa akin na para bang hinahanda niya rin ang sarili niya sa sasabihin ko.

I'm so scared. A part of me still wants to keep the secret. A part of me wants to shield them from the truth.

"Ang princess po hindi lang si prince charming ang kailangan. Kailangan niya rin po ng family niya. Mag-isa po tayong nasasaktan, mag-isa tayong nahihirapan, pero hindi po natin kailangan mag-isang lumaban."

I could hear Ella's voice telling me that before she passed away. My little genius angel.

She was right. Of course, those who love us will get hurt and struggle with us, but not in a way that we know. Not in a way that I fear. The truth is, dying is always alone. The pain from the disease, the exhaustion from just trying to get by every day—we do it alone. Because it's our body that's going through it. But fighting... fighting takes so much more than one person.

So maybe she was really right. Maybe I don't need to do it alone.

"Kuya... I have stage three b-cell follicular lymphoma."

Out of all the people in the world, my brothers are the ones I don't need to explain the cancer I have to, because they know. They know what it is. They know what it could do. They know that one moment it seems treatable and the doctors have high hopes, and then the next they're preparing you for the worst.

My brother's hug tightened more, and my body heaved with sobs when I felt something wet on my shoulders, knowing what it was and that it was from the person who stayed strong for the family for years.

"No," he whispered. "Not you."

I could hear the soft sound of crying and muffled sobs, which was probably coming from my sisters-in-law. It was soon drowned out by a loud crash, as if something had been thrown at the wall.

"I'm sorry."

Nilingon ko ang iba ko pang mga kapatid. Kuya Gun is standing, and his wife is holding on to him. There was a shattered chair near him, which explained the sound I heard. Kuya Pierce is looking up at the ceiling, his hands gripping his hair. Kuya Axel is sitting down, shaking his head in disbelief. On the other side of the room, Kuya Coal looked like he wanted to bolt out of the room, but he stayed unmoving with his hands clenched tightly. Across from him is Kuya Domino, looking at the floor, his face dark with pain.

I didn't have the chance to look for Kuya Trace, because, in a second, he was already beside me, hugging me as well.

"I'm sorry mga kuya. I-I'm sorry. Sinubukan ko naman... lumalaban pa rin naman ako."

Nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Magnus. "I-I want to live."

My husband's eyes became liquid with emotion. He mouthed words that I didn't need to hear to understand.

"Thank you. I love you."

"We're going to talk to the doctors," Kuya Thorn said, his voice determined. "There must be something else they could do."

"It's different now." Kuya Axel stood up and approached the bed again. "Before... with Mama... it doesn't need to be like that, right?"

"There are trials. I've tried a lot over the years. I will keep trying, and my doctors will keep doing their best. But... you know. This is cancer. I..." I smiled through the tears as I shook my head. "There's an advancement in medicine. There are a couple of fatal diseases that now have a cure. But we all know how different cancer is."

My doctor, Galen Cuevas, is here for a reason. He's been working with Cross Lawrence, and Cross, Belaya's brother, came from a long line of family that had made significant differences in the field of medicine.

But there's a reason why there's no cure for most cancers. Why years of studies are still just studies. Cancer is a complex disease. It doesn't just target one thing. Not just a single organ and it's not just one mutation fighting the rest. It doesn't have a focus. It attacks everything... anything that is healthy in you.

Some are treatable, and there are people who can be considered cured. But mostly, they're just remissions. And to be honest, I think I could be happy with that. A lot of people live a long time in remission.

"Bakit ikaw pa?" narinig kong bulong ni Kuya Trace na nananatiling nakayakap sa akin.

Sa kabila ng mabigat na emosyon na bumabalot sa paligid ay hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko sa sumunod na lumabas sa mga labi ko. "Gusto mo ikaw na lang?" He blinked in surprise, not expecting that I would have it in me to joke. Nginitian ko siya at marahang tinapik ko ang pisngi niya. "Joke lang. Masyado kang serious. Hindi ako sanay."

"Luna!" he hissed.

I scrunch my nose, trying to act cute despite the fact that my tears are still not stopping. Pakiramdam ko ay gumaganti iyon dahil paminsan-minsan ko lang hinahayaan iyon na kumawala mula sa akin.

I looked around, looking at their faces, and I couldn't help but wonder how long I still got to have this.

This reminded me of when I was a little girl. Whenever I hurt myself from playing, no matter how small my wound may be, they will crowd around me in their varying versions of worry. They are always ready to comfort me, and they're also willing to fight anyone, even a child, if someone has hurt me.

There were moments when their concerns felt suffocating. Magalusan lang kasi ako dahil may kalaro akong naitulak ako ay gusto na nilang suguring lahat. Even the most level-headed among my brothers will still go out of his way to make sure that the person who caused me harm will apologize to me. Pero kahit ganoon, kahit na minsan nakaka-stress na pigilan silang lahat na magpakakuya sa akin, sa kanila pa rin ako tumatakbo. Minsan nga sa kanila pa ako unang nagsusumbong bago sa mga magulang namin.

But right now, there's nothing they can do. There's no one they could blame. I know they want to give me comfort, and they do, but not in the way they think they should. Not now, when I can see how destroyed they feel right at this moment. Pero ako kaya kong ibigay sa kanila iyon ngayon. Dahil sa loob ng ilang taon na itinago ko 'to, ngayon ko lang naramdaman kung paanong maging malaya ng sobra. It feels as though they lifted a weight that has been crushing me for a long time.

Inangat ko ang mga kamay ko kahit na hindi naging madali iyon dahil nakayakap pa rin sa akin ang dalawa kong kapatid. I raise an eyebrow at the rest of my brothers. "What? I don't get a hug from you guys? Tinitipid niyo na ako—"

Bago ko pa magawang tapusin ang sinasabi ko ay tinawid na nila ang kinaroroonan ko. I don't think the oxygen I have could help with how out of breath I felt when all their weight went around me. But I'm not going to complain. Not when I feel so warm being surrounded by them.

"Tell us what you need," Kuya Gun said through his rough voice. A single tear trailed down his cheek, which broke more floodgates in me in response. "Anything."

"Just this," I whispered. "Just this is enough."

______________________________End of Chapter 46.