CHAPTER 34: GLOWLUNA'S POV"You look... glowy."Nag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa menu na nasa harapan ko at nakita kong pinagmamasdan ako ni Lucienne. We're at Blue again, the restaurant of Azureterra Island Resort, and we're currently eating breakfast. Wala ang nanay ni Magnus at stepfather dahil inimbita sila ng mag-ari ng resort sa private house nila na malapit lang dito. Si Magnus naman ay may virtual meeting kaya susunod na lang daw siya rito sa amin."Nagsalita ang hindi glowy." Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Dapat zombie mode ka ngayon pero tatalunin mo sa pagiging glowy ang araw sa labas."Sinapo niya ang pisngi niya at nag-beautiful eyes sa akin. "I know, right? Maganda rin talaga na paminsan-minsan nakakapagbakasyon kami ni Thorn na hindi kasama ang mga bata para nakakapag-gift giving at research kami ng matiwasay."I gave her a disgusted expression. Unfortunately, I know about how she literally gifted herself to my brother on their wedding night.
Binasa ko lang naman kasi ang sabi ng mga empleyado ko ay nakakatawa raw. Hindi ko naman akalain na kasunod ng nakakatawa na part ay gugustuhin kong ipatanggal ang utak ko para makalimutan ko ang lahat ng nabasa ko. "Anong pinag-uusapan niyo?" tanong ni Mireia na kararating lang. Kasunod niya si Kuya Axel. "Kung gaano kami ka-glowy ni Luna today," sagot ni Lucienne at kumindat pa. "Pero hindi naman ako nag-iisa. Ikaw din naman."Ngumisi ang dating modelo. "Siyempre. Ang haba ng photoshoot namin ni Axel kagabi. Inumaga na ata kami."Napaubo si Kuya Axel at namumula ang mukha na hindi niya tinuloy ang pag-upo. "Tatawagin ko muna sila Kuya Gun. Sila na lang ang hindi sumasagot sa GC."Bago pa siya makaalis ay hinila siya paupo ng asawa niya. "Huwag mong istorbohin ang mga iyon at baka bugahan ka ng apoy ni Gun kapag nasira mo ang vocalization session nila ni Lia."Iisa kami ng dilemma ni Kuya Axel lalo pa ng isa-isa na ngang nagdatingan ang iba pa naming mga hipag na may balak atang palitan ang araw sa solar system dahil parang ang liwanag ng bukas ng mga mukha nila. We ordered, and as soon as the food arrived, they commenced on the current topic. "We didn't expect you to be glowy as well, though." Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita kong sa akin nakatingin ang nagsalita na si Belaya. Siniko siya ni Mireia at pinandilatan ng mga mata na ibinalik niya lang din sa kaibigan."Natural ang
glowyness ko. Hindi ko kailangan ng malaswang beauty routine para ma-achieve 'to." Nang humagikhik lang sila ay pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko. I look at them expectantly. Nang walang magsalita sa kanila ay tinaasan ko ng kilay si Belaya. I know there's something they want to say. "Let it out, guys. Hindi uso sa inyo ang maging mahiyain.""Nag-away kayo ni Magnus?" kaagad na tanong ni Mireia.Bela raised her hand. "Anong pinag-awayan niyo?"Lucienne copied her. "Sino ang may kasalanan? Ikaw o siya? Kung siya, gusto mo paiyakin namin ang asawa mo?"Sakto naman na kakarating lang nila Lia at napakunot ang noo niya nang marinig ang usapan. "Magkaaway pa rin kayo ni Magnus hanggang ngayon?"I sighed and turned to look at Ember, Circe, and Tiara. "May idadagdag pa ba kayo?""Are you okay?" Ember asked softly.Moments like this are something I really want to thank the heavens for. Ember knows when to steal herself and when to be soft. Kapag sa harapan namin na pamilya niya ay ang huli ang lagi naming natatanggap. Mabuti na lang talaga at biniyayaan ng mabait na asawa si Kuya Trace.
Kasi kung hindi, baka nag-alsabalutan na si Ember para layasan ang kakulitan ng kapatid ko."I'm okay," I said, which made her smile.Nilingon ko si Tiara na nahihiyang tumingin sa asawa niya bago niya ibinalik sa akin ang mga mata niya. "Umm... I don't know what's happening, but I'm glad you're okay."Circe, on the other hand, went to the raise-your-hand team, except she's grinning like a cheshire cat. "Ako alam ko ang nangyayari at alam ko rin na okay ka lang." Nang mapunta sa kaniya ang tingin ng mga babae ay lumawak lalo ang ngisi niya. "All our villas are facing the one that Luna and Magnus are occupying, so we all saw when Luna went running to the beach with Magnus following her. Though we can't hear them, from their body language alone, we could tell that they're fighting.""And Luna was crying," humalukipkip si Lucienne. "Gusto ko na ngang sugurin si Sir Magnus eh. Thorn distracted me... and well, he's good at that."I scrunch my nose while my other siblings just groan in protest. Wala sa amin ang may gustong marinig kung gaano kagaling si Kuya Thorn sa pagdidistract sa asawa niya. "We were not fighting." Kinabakasan sila ng hindi pagkapaniwala kaya nagpatuloy ako kaagan bago pa sila makapagsalita. "Nag-uusap lang kami.""Ang intense naman ng usapan niyo," komento ni Lucienne.Kung sa ibang pamilya siguro ay pinagmulan na ng gulo ang pinag-uusapan namin. But the dynamics in our family are different. They are not intruding. Well, maybe they kinda are. But they're not doing anything that I wouldn't do if the role had been reversed. Alam ko naman kasi na hindi sila nagtatanong dahil lang curious sila. Behind their smiles and jokes, I know they're really worried.Nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Mireia. She's probably wondering if it's connected to the things she's been noticing. "Magnus is strong-willed, and I'm hardheaded. Those are not exactly a good combination. But we talked it out, and we're okay. Stop worrying, guys.""I'm not worried," sabi ni Circe na umabot ng pagkain. Mukhang kahit end of the world ay hindi siya mapipigilan na kumain.
Buntis eh. "At first, I am. But with the intense kiss that she and Magnus shared? Not anymore."Nagsinghapan ang mga babae habang ang mga kapatid ko naman ay parang gustong maglaho at mapunta sa ibang dimensyon dahil sa pinag-uusapan namin. Kuya Trace even put a finger on each of his ears."I didn't see that!" angal ni Lucienne na tumingin sa asawa niya. "Ikaw kasi eh."Kuya Thorn gave her a look that I would rather not see again. "Are you complaining?"Lucienne flushed and shook her head. "Basta ba may part two.""Hmm."
I would rather not hear that "hmm" again. "Hindi kayo masyadong clingy sa isa't isa at hindi rin kayo showy, pero I never once doubted that he's completely in love with you," Circe shared after awhile. Lia nodded. "We all know how enamored Luna is of Magnus, but over the years of Magnus not returning her attention, I thought there was no hope for them. But one day, I looked at him, and I can't explain it but I just know that there's no doubt that he's completely in love with her.""Sobrang totoo. No'ng mga panahon na bago pa lang ako sa inyo, and I was invited sa reception nila ni Luna, I remember that I couldn't look away from Magnus.""Why is that?" I asked Circe curiously. "The way he looks at you just feels so beautiful, to the point that it hurts to watch. It felt like I was seeing love take a physical form, which was supposed to be abstract."I think I've read about that briefly in the book Lucienne wrote for her and Kuya Coal. But when I was at that chapter, I just scanned it and didn't pay much attention to it. I didn't want to, because I still feel guilty about that night when I celebrated something that wasn't real with my family.Magnus' feelings for me were so obvious to others, but not to me. Me, who for years had long wanted to be loved by him. Mahirap kasing makita ang mga bagay na gusto mong itanggi. I was denying it, even though I had glimpses of its existence. Kasi natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na may magbago. Natatakot ako na masaktan siya.While hope is important—something I thought I needed—it's also one of the things that could hurt me the most. Hope can give me strength to fight, but it can also leave me with nothing but vulnerability if it's taken away from me. "So you and Magnus are good?" Ember asked.Tumango ako. "We're really good."It wasn't a lie. For the first time, what I told them about my relationship with my husband wasn't a lie.I can't say that I was instantly okay and that no trace of doubt or fear lingers. But since that day that I first found out about my diagnosis, this was the first time that I wanted to try... to let my heart want for more. "Everything, okay?"Nag-angat ako ng mukha nang maramdaman ko ang kamay na lumapat sa ulo ko. Magnus took a seat beside me, and I couldn't help but stare at him. There's no mistaking that out of us all, including the blazing sun, he is glowing more than any of us.I probably didn't notice it before I left the villa because of the obvious fact that I couldn't look straight at him.
Himala nga na nakatulog ako. Sa tagal kong natutulog sa tabi niya ay pinaka-challenging na gabi ko ata ang nagdaang gabi."Y-Yes." Bahagya kong inangat ang tinidor ko na may piraso ng breakfast waffles na nasa plato ko. "Breakfast? I'll ask for the menu—"Bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ay bahagya siyang yumuko at isinubo ang pagkain na nakatusok sa tinidor ko. I feel like I went red from head to toe, especially when I saw his tongue peek as he swiped the sweetness of the bite from his lips.
Lips that I kissed last night. "That's mine," I mumbled."I can't have a taste?" he asked teasingly. I could see now how, just like me, he was a master when it came to reigning in his feelings. He's probably better than me when it comes to it. Because now that he's not trying to hide it, now that he's letting them go, I could feel how greatly colossal they are. "Pwede... pwede naman."Itinukod niya ang siko niya sa lamesa at nangalumbaba siya habang ang isa niyang kamay ay ginamit niya para ipitin ang buhok ko sa likod ng tenga ko. "Pwede kong tikman?"
I could lose myself in his gaze. I think I already am. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Hmm?"
I like his "hmm" so much more. The way his lips move makes me want to relieve the kiss again, and it's making me imagine things that I feel like I shouldn't be imagining.
Maghunusdili ka Luna Alondra. "H-Ha?""I asked you if I could have a taste?"
Taste. Ako rin gusto ko. "Pwede mo naman akong tikman— I mean... pwede mo naman tikman ang breakfast ko." Nag-iniinit ang mga pisngi na ibinigay ko sa kaniya ang tinidor ko. "Kahit sa'yo na."He popped a blueberry in his mouth. "Tikim lang naman ang gusto ko. I can have a full meal later."
Kailangan ko ng aircon– wait, the place is already centralized. I need snow! "O-Okay."Nananatili lang kaming nakatingin sa isa't isa at hindi pa siguro kami kikilos kung hindi lumapit sa amin ang waiter para bigyan ng menu si Magnus. I noticed that when he ordered, it was something that I also enjoyed eating. I like fruits in my breakfast, but Magnus likes the more savory ones. Pero may mga pagkakataon na napapansin ko siya katulad ngayon na ang kinukuha niyang pagkain ay iyong magugustuhin ko rin."Natural daw ang glow niya eh halata namang same lang tayong lahat ng beauty routine," nang-aasar na sabi ni Lucienne. Hindi pa siya nakuntento at pinaglandas niya ang kamay niya sa braso niya. "Only a Dawson touches our skin.""Hindi ba dapat kay Magnus applicable 'yan dahil ang asawa niya ang Dawson?" tanong ni Belaya.Nginuso ng manunulat ang boss niya. "Obvious naman na sa sobrang glowy ni Sir Magnus malapit ng mawalan ng trabaho ang haring araw."Nilingon ako ni Magnus. "What are they talking about?"I cleared my throat and shook my head. "Nothing. I'll tell you about it later."Mukhang gusto niya pang mag-usisa pero naligaw ang atensyon niya nang bumalik na ang waiter dala ang pagkain niya. He immediately focused on his plate, and at first I thought that he was really hungry, but moments later, he was transferring some of his food to mine.Dahil hindi ko naman kayang kumain ng sobrang dami ay hinati ko rin ang pagkain ko at binigyan ko siya na ikinangiti niya."May naalala ako. Dapat itatanong ko na nang pumunta kami sa inyo," sabi ni Mireia. "Ano 'yon?" tanong ko."Wala kayong wedding picture ni Magnus? I mean, alam kong civil wedding kayo pero hindi talaga kayo nag-picture?"Nagkatinginan kami ni Magnus. May picture kami pero parehas kaming nagdesisyon na huwag i-display iyon. Halata na tensyonado ako sa wedding picture namin at sa distansiya na nilagay ko sa pagitan namin noon ay mukha akong nagpapicture lang sa kaniya kesa magmukha iyong larawan ng dalawang taong kinasal. "Wala eh," sagot ko. "Sa reception meron pero sa kasal wala.""Do you want one?"Napakurap ako. "Umm... like get married again?""Hmm..." Magnus grinned beside me. "I like that idea."Magnus' flirting should be illegal. Pakiramdam ko ay madadagdagan ang sakit ko at sakit naman sa puso ang kakailanganin kong intindihin. "Well, if you want to, why not?" Nilingon ni Mireia ang mga babae. "We're not going to say no to having a reason to have a party."Napakamot ako sa pisngi ko. "Uhh...""But that's not what I'm talking about. What I meant was a pre-wedding shoot.""Like a prenup shoot?""Something like that, but more formal. Naka-wedding gown talaga ang bride at naka-suit ang groom. I know someone who's just starting in the business, and I was thinking of ways to promote her. Gumagawa rin siya ng prenup shoot, but she's trending right now because of her pre-wedding portfolios. Prenup shoots are more, you know, scripted. Since it wants to show the things the couple likes and that they're in love and happy together. Pre-wedding is easier since pwedeng sa studio lang.""I like that as well." Magnus turned to me. "What do you think?"He looks like he really wants it. "Sure... why not?" Binalingan ko si Mireia. "Meron naman siyang available na gowns 'no?""Meron naman. But don't you want to choose something that's just yours?""Matatagalan pa kung magpapagawa ako.""Gano'n naman talaga ata," sabi ni Lucienne. "It took forever for me to find the right wedding gown.""It's worth the wait," Lia said with a sweet smile.I have everything except the liberty of waiting. Time is my only enemy. Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Magnus na inabot ang sa akin sa ilalim ng lamesa. For some reason, now that I'm also trying to be more free, I could feel the difference in his touch on me. It feels like the heavy things that used to pin me down are more easily lifted now. Maybe because, for the first time, I'm actually letting my husband really help me. "How about I talk to my Tita Storm?" Belaya asked, entering the conversation. "She has a lot of gowns stored. Marami doon na isa lang ang meron sa mundo. Maybe one of them will suit your taste. She can have it altered just for you, and then maybe one day, if you and Magnus decide to get married again, you can use it other than for photoshoots."Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Magnus at nakita kong nakamasid na siya sa akin. Binigyan ko siya ng maliit na ngiti at marahang pinisil ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak pa rin sa akin. "Sure. I guess we can do that." I turned my attention back to the women. "Basta kalmahan niyo lang. Kilala ko kayo. Just the shoot and nothing else. Baka naman gumawa pa kayo ng party—"I couldn't finish my words when all of them almost let out a sound of disappointment. "Maybe just a small one," I told them with a sigh. "Iyong tayo-tayo lang."Napailing na lang ako nang halos sabay-sabay din silang nagpalakpakan. Nilingon ko ang mga asawa nila at pinaningkitan ko sila ng mga mata. "Control your wives.""Can you control your husband?" Kuya Coal threw back at me.When I glanced at Magnus, I sighed again. "Nah. This one is the most uncontrollable of all."It wasn't a lie. If the word "free" takes a human form, it would be Magnus. Whatever mask cloaked us before is now long gone, and everything he has been hiding is now blazing in an unrestrained way.Nang magkaroon na ng kaniya-kaniyang usapan ang pamilya ko at mukhang okupado na ng mga iyon ang atensyon nila ay naramdaman kong yumuko si Magnus para mas mapalapit siya sa akin."I'm excited to see you in a wedding gown," he whispered."Why?""Because maybe we can fulfill something from your list the moment I take it off from you."
__________________________End of Chapter 34.