Chapter 62
February 22, 2006
Once the spirit grows weary, the body follows. Even though his health has already recovered and everyone takes good care of him, Takemichi still feels terribly sluggish. The energy in his body now is probably only about seventy percent of what it used to be. More than anything, Takemichi wants to break free from this state.
Today, he still remembers the appointment to visit Shinichiro's grave. But he worries he might not be able to wake up, so the night before, before going to bed, he sends a message to Inupee, asking him and Kokonoi to come wake him up. The three of them will go visit Shinichiro's grave together.
He actually invites Taiju as well. Taiju is not only the tenth-generation leader but is now also an advisor to the eleventh generation, so he should pay his respects to Black Dragon's founding leader too. But Takemichi sends the message rather late. Only Inupee replies quickly; Taiju does not respond at all. Takemichi secretly thinks that he probably won't come.
"Seriously? You too?"
Inupee's face twists as he sees Taiju joining him and Kokonoi on their way to Takemichi's house.
"Your precious leader tells me to come, alright? So drop the attitude."
Kokonoi, walking between them, feels utterly helpless. He still doesn't understand how these two ever manage to be superior and subordinate. When they work together, Inupee stays professional and doesn't give Taiju too much attitude. But the moment it becomes something personal involving Takemichi, Inupee bares his teeth and gets irritated with Taiju immediately. All day long, he keeps asking Taiju why he agrees to be Takemichi's advisor, why he helps Takemichi, what exactly happens between the two of them recently, and what kind of relationship they even have.
It's that kind of questioning that reeks strongly of jealousy.
Taiju is no pushover either. He doesn't brush it off; instead, he always answers vaguely, deliberately so, until the usually calm and handsome Inupee - someone who rarely shows much emotion - finally looks utterly furious.
"This is a private matter between me and that brat. If he doesn't tell you, then of course I won't either."
"What kind of relationship? That brat once called me Taiju-senpai, you know. Hm, that's not a bad relationship, right?"
What? Calls him what? Taiju-senpai? Senpai? Senpai?!
Two certain people's minds immediately go into overdrive, conjuring the image of Takemichi in his bright school uniform - cheerful, energetic. He wears an adorable smile, calls out senpai in a sweet voice, eyes filled with admiration.
Among everyone in Toman, no one has ever heard Takemichi call them senpai.
Damn it, this lucky bastard!
Both Inupee and Kokonoi are shaken by Taiju's answer. Aside from the two words senpai making their heads spin - and Inupee sinking straight into a sea of jealousy - Kokonoi can't believe the day actually comes when he hears Taiju speak with such childish competitiveness. And he is absolutely sure Taiju is acting like this partly because he still holds a grudge over what happened at the hospital.
Good heavens, is this really the fearsome, infamous tenth-generation Black Dragon leader?
Should he praise his boss for being so good at taming violent, feral beasts?
One undeniable truth is that anyone who meets Hanagaki Takemichi ends up changing their personality sooner or later.
Inupee arrives at Takemichi's house in a foul mood, but the moment he meets Mrs. Hanagaki, his attitude flips instantly, turning obedient and polite.
"Oh, it's you boys? Takemichi is still sleeping. Go on upstairs and wake him up. Lately, he's turned into a lazy little caterpillar - so hard to wake."
"And this young man - are you Takemichi's new friend? This is the first time I meet you."
Mrs. Hanagaki quickly notices the tall, broad-shouldered, strikingly unfamiliar young man.
Taiju truly puts away all his usual arrogance and ferocity, becoming the very image of a serious, well-mannered young adult.
"Yes, ma'am. I'm Takemichi's new friend."
Someone behind Mrs. Hanagaki glares fiercely. I haven't even called him by that name yet. Damn it, this bastard.
"Oh, you must be older than our Takemichi, right?"
"Yes, by two years."
"With you by his side, my son must feel very safe. Young people these days really look strong and reliable!"
Mrs. Hanagaki seems to have a good impression of Taiju, despite his intimidating appearance. To be honest, Taiju is a sharp and perceptive man. Once his violence is stripped away, he carries himself like a gentleman who knows proper manners. He also looks mature for his age, giving off a sense of reliability, so it's no surprise that Takemichi's mother warms up to him so easily.
No! Ma'am, Takemichi is not safe with this guy! He used to beat your son before - he's not trustworthy at all! Takemichi is safest with us!
Two people who once ran with Taiju and caused Takemichi no small amount of injuries shove those memories aside and vehemently object in their hearts.
This Taiju guy is stealing way too much spotlight.
"Go upstairs and wake him up for me. It's time for me to leave. Remind him to reheat the soup, the rolled omelet is on the table, and he can grab some pickles from the fridge to eat with it. Make sure he takes his medicine before going out too - if no one reminds him, he'll forget again."
The three of them quickly agree, say goodbye to her as she leaves, and only then head upstairs to Takemichi's room. Taiju looks a bit stiff, but seeing how his two "former subordinates" act like this is their own home, he refuses to lose to them.
Boys really do have these ridiculous competitions, don't they?
Just like Hanagaki-san says, Takemichi can't wake up at all, curled up into a cocoon on the bed. Inupee quickly walks over, his voice gentle as he wakes him.
"Hanagaki, wake up. We're here. We still have to get ready to go to the cemetery."
The cocoon stirs slightly. A few small, protesting groans escape, and after a while, a messy blond head finally peeks out from under the blanket. Takemichi can't open his eyes at first. He struggles just to lift his eyelids, and slowly, Inupee's handsome face comes into focus.
Hmm... waking up to this kind of good-looking face makes it hard to stay annoyed. Seriously, why does Inupee have to be so handsome?
Still half-asleep, Takemichi doesn't even realize what he's doing. He reaches out and rubs Inupee's head, making Inupee freeze for a few seconds before processing what just happens.
And then... then Kokonoi and Taiju definitely see someone's ears perk up and an imaginary tail wagging excitedly. Inupee turns his back to them - if he doesn't, his face would look way too pleased.
"Inupee-kun... I'm really sleepy. Just a little bit more..."
Takemichi's freshly-awoken voice carries a whiny, spoiled tone, making the three boys in the room instinctively take a deep breath.
The weakest heart among them - Inupee's - almost melts completely. He even wonders if it's okay to just hug Takemichi and go back to sleep together. But Taiju cuts in immediately.
"Get up, brat. You're the one who asked us to come over. This isn't the time to sleep."
Hearing Taiju's voice, Takemichi jolts awake and sits straight up. He even rubs his eyes a few times, just to make sure he isn't seeing things.
"Taiju-kun... you came too?"
Taiju frowns at Takemichi's surprised expression. He's the one who invited him - what's there to be surprised about?
In truth, Taiju thinks about it for a long time before coming, which is why he didn't reply to Takemichi's message yesterday.
"You already said that much, so I figure I should come," Taiju answers flatly.
"Oh!!!"
Takemichi nods and only manages that one sound. He thinks someone like Taiju wouldn't care about this kind of thing, and since Taiju doesn't reply to his message, he assumes he isn't coming.
Is he being careless, or is Taiju acting strange compared to usual? Ever since Takemichi stays in the hospital, Taiju acts differently toward him. It feels... gentler, warmer somehow, making Takemichi both restless and shy. Even now, he still remembers that incident clearly.
"Get out of bed and get ready. You're wasting time."
Taiju's tone sounds like an order. Takemichi snaps fully awake at once. Just when he thinks Taiju is being gentle, Taiju goes right back to his usual self.
This guy... Taiju.
He feels disappointed.
"Hey, don't talk to the boss like that."
"That's because you two spoil him too much. I don't see any leader's discipline at all."
Like you don't spoil him too.
Kokonoi and Inupee protest silently. They don't say it out loud - what's the point, when that guy doesn't even realize his own behavior?
"If you're going to argue, go outside and do it."
Takemichi senses the gunpowder smell between them and immediately gets irritated. It's still morning - are they trying to turn his room into a battlefield?
Seeing Takemichi get angry, the three of them fall silent on their own.
Part of it is because they pay attention to Takemichi's mental state and don't want to ruin his mood. The other part is... well, subordinates being afraid of their superior is only natural.
When Takemichi sees them stop fighting, his face relaxes. He drags himself out of bed, thinking that these three really used to work together and even rebuild Black Dragon into something strong. Did they argue like this before?
He thinks not. The old Taiju - who would even dare touch him? One punch and you'd be meeting your ancestors.
If he thinks like that, then he should also realize that the man he believes no one dared to touch is now working tirelessly for him, getting pushed around by him, forced to comfort him, and constantly watching his mood - even when being scolded, Taiju doesn't dare do anything back.
The only person who punches Taiju in the face, talks back to him, scolds him, makes him wait, and makes him do countless things - yet still lives well, happily, and healthily - is him.
"Well, wait a bit. I'll take a shower to wake myself up. I'm too sleepy. It's still early, right?"
"There's still plenty of time. Do whatever you want."
"It'll be quick. Just wait a bit."
Takemichi grabs his clothes and quickly heads into the bathroom. Only after the door closes and the sound of the shower fills the room do the three of them blink and look at each other.
Wait.
He's taking a shower.
Let us politely skip the indecent images of adolescent imagination...
The atmosphere turns awkward all of a sudden. None of them look at each other anymore. Each sits in a corner, limbs fidgeting restlessly.
"You two wait here. I'll go downstairs and prepare breakfast for the brat."
Inupee and Kokonoi stare at Taiju in shock. Taiju... is going downstairs to make breakfast?
Is this real?
"If we don't prepare it now, we'll waste time. If we wait for that brat to finish showering and prepare it himself, when will we ever leave?"
See? It's not just us who spoil him.
Taiju ignores Inupee's shocked-turned-skeptical expression and heads to the kitchen. Kokonoi follows him, leaving Inupee alone in the room.
"Why don't you stay and wait with Inupee?" Taiju asks.
"I think he would want to be alone with Hanagaki, so I come down instead."
Kokonoi smiles as he speaks, but there's something faintly sorrowful in his eyes, a sense of quiet drifting.
Whenever he's around Takemichi, Kokonoi becomes calmer than everyone else. He always hides feelings and care that go beyond friendship. His actions and words stay carefully restrained, unintentionally creating distance between them.
Everyone can tell that Takemichi is closer and more comfortable with Inupee. Kokonoi knows that having a place in Takemichi's heart is already enough - he doesn't ask for more.
He's afraid that if he gets too close, he won't be able to control his heart. The happiness and warmth he feels whenever he's with Takemichi also brings pain, reminding him of his feelings for Akane. Back then, he feels the same sweetness and floating sensation, like being on cloud nine - just like now.
Taiju glances at Kokonoi with a probing look, then says nothing more.
The two of them head down to the kitchen and take a quick look around. Taiju is the first to move, turning on the stove to reheat the soup, while Kokonoi opens the refrigerator to look for the container of pickles Takemichi's mother mentions.
"I still wonder why you help Hanagaki. I think after the Christmas Eve battle, you already gave up on Black Dragon. What makes you agree to become his advisor?"
Kokonoi takes the chance to ask Taiju, but his tone is much more polite than Inupee's usual bluntness. This is not something only Inupee is curious about - everyone is.
"That's a secret between the two of us. I already said that."
Kokonoi forgets, for a moment, just how hard it is to pry Taiju's mouth open. Once this guy decides not to talk, no one can force an answer out of him. Silence falls again. Other than work, there is really nothing for them to casually chat about.
"There are many reasons. Even now, I don't really understand what the exact reason is for why I help that brat."
Taiju speaks up, breaking the silence.
"That battle shatters my belief in something. At that time, I didn't even know what I should do next. I plan to leave - to go somewhere and look for what I truly want to do. But on the day Takemichi wakes up, he tells me, 'Taiju, I need your help.' And he gives me something to do."
"You're not the type who helps others or does things that bring you no benefit at all. Especially when the two of you just fight each other, and you are a king, Taiju. A king who submits to Hanagaki - someone who, at that time, is considered completely powerless."
"By now, you know he can create miracles, don't you?"
Kokonoi lets out a sigh. He doesn't know since when Taiju starts answering questions in such vague ways. It would be better if he says nothing at all - this only makes Kokonoi more curious. It's enough to drive someone crazy.
"Forget it. I know I won't dig anything out of you."
Kokonoi takes the pickles out and puts them into a small bowl, then closes the container and returns it to the fridge. At the same time, Taiju finishes reheating the soup and turns off the stove. Kokonoi hands him a bowl and a ladle without thinking. The two of them move in perfect, unspoken coordination - almost too naturally, like people used to running a household together.
Taiju places the bowl of soup on the dining table, then scoops rice and sets out chopsticks, preparing breakfast for the brat who is still fumbling around in his room. Kokonoi pours a glass of water in advance so Takemichi can take his medicine after eating.
Suddenly, Taiju speaks again. If his voice used to make others feel oppressed, filled with arrogance, now it turns gentle, carrying a strange sense of reverence.
"At first, the reason I listen to Takemichi is because I want to know what kind of person Hanagaki Takemichi is. What is it about him that changes Hakkai, makes him strong - something I spend years trying to do, only to earn my younger brother's hatred? After that, he makes me believe that God Himself is guiding me toward him. Now I understand why Hakkai changes because of Takemichi. And he also changes me."
Taiju looks straight at Kokonoi, making him freeze.
The time they work together rebuilding the Tenth Generation Black Dragon is not long, but it is enough for Kokonoi to know many sides of Taiju's emotions and moods. And he is certain of one thing - aside from when Taiju prays to God, he never shows this kind of reverence to anyone.
"After Takemichi breaks my faith in strength, he gradually becomes my faith instead. And I always act according to my faith. That's all."
That's all. Taiju lets out a faint smile. Kokonoi can only think that, in just one morning, he is shocked three or four times already because of Taiju.
Taiju's feelings are different from Kokonoi's and everyone else's. For some people, Takemichi is a secret love of youth. For others, he is obsession, desire, the urge to possess. But for Taiju, it is devotion - willing submission, worship, turning someone into his religion.
If their bond grows even stronger, if Taiju's feelings for Takemichi become greater than they already are, if those feelings turn into true love one day - then seeing Taiju kneel at Takemichi's feet would not be surprising at all. He would offer everything to the god in his heart, even his soul. That is exactly how Kokonoi feels.
An uncomfortable, restless emotion immediately spreads through every corner of Kokonoi's body. A sense of instability grows stronger, and he feels himself falling behind, the pressure around him becoming more and more intense.
The number of people who hold feelings for Takemichi keeps increasing, and those feelings are overwhelmingly strong. If those emotions overshadow him, will his current place beside Takemichi be taken away?
"You don't say all this to me just to confess your feelings for Hanagaki, do you?"
Even though these thoughts throw Kokonoi into confusion, he still keeps enough clarity to realize that Taiju has another intention. Taiju never suddenly lays bare his heart to someone like this.
Taiju curls his lips into a smile. He knows that someone as smart as Kokonoi will see through it. By revealing his own feelings, Taiju deliberately provokes the emotions Kokonoi keeps buried deep in his heart.
And this is merely to let Taiju smoothly ignite another issue.
"Kokonoi, don't you ever feel that one day, Takemichi will abandon Black Dragon?"
"What?"
Kokonoi frowns immediately, clearly confused. Why does Taiju bring this up?
"You know better than I do that Takemichi takes Black Dragon and expands it all for Toman. He never truly wants to be the leader of a gang in the first place. So don't you think that one day, when Toman faces no more threats, Takemichi will step back and give up the position of Black Dragon's leader? Don't you see that the reason he doesn't completely merge Black Dragon into Toman, and lets you operate as before, is because even if he leaves that position later, it won't cause too much turmoil between the two gangs? That way, Takemichi can return to being a member of Toman peacefully, and both gangs can maintain a cooperative relationship."
Kokonoi's entire face stiffens as he stares at Taiju.
"If there is no Black Dragon, I have no reason to stay by Takemichi's side. And I have nothing to hold him back - what right do I have? As a friend's older brother? Here, I am the one with the weakest connection to him, and he still hasn't completely let go of his fear of me. I can't force Takemichi to stay in Black Dragon if he wants to leave. That leaves only you and Inupee. Inupee is fine - but with his soft heart, no matter what Takemichi decides, he will follow it, whether he truly wants to or not. But what about you? If one day Takemichi gives up Black Dragon, what will you do? Follow Inupee, respect that decision, and let him walk away?"
Kokonoi can't answer.
They all know Takemichi comes to Black Dragon because of Toman, but he also gives so much to Black Dragon. Everyone in Black Dragon now willingly works for him, cherishes him. Kokonoi never once considers the day Takemichi leaves Black Dragon. He even says he will follow behind him forever, as his attendant.
But that is what Kokonoi thinks.
He wants to follow him - but will Takemichi allow him to do so?
Only now does Kokonoi suddenly realize it.
"You're sure you don't want that!"
Taiju answers in Kokonoi's place.
"You don't want it, but with that timid heart of yours, do you even dare to hold onto him, Kokonoi? You keep forcing your feelings down, pushing Takemichi farther away, and one day you are going to regret it. Because Takemichi will be very far from you. Can you really accept standing somewhere, watching Takemichi laughing happily beside Touman, without you there?"
Taiju's words stir up emotions that surface every time Kokonoi sees Takemichi standing with Touman - their tight bond, their shared feelings, the bright smiles Takemichi gives them. All of it always makes Kokonoi feel like Takemichi belongs to a different world from his own. The sense of being left behind, the jealousy, floods his mind again and again.
"Try choosing what you actually want just once. Instead of always following Inupee, pull him along with you. Inupee doesn't want Takemichi to leave him either - he's just too soft when it comes to Takemichi. But if you stand beside him and give him a push, things will be different."
Taiju is good at manipulating people - Kokonoi knows that. But his mind is truly shaken now.
"Hah! I never expect to see you like this one day, Taiju."
Think about it - how closely does Taiju have to pay attention to Takemichi to see through his thoughts so clearly? Thoughts that even Kokonoi and Inupee, who are always by Takemichi's side, never manage to notice. He even calculates what Takemichi will do in the future.
No one knows yet whether Taiju's predictions about Takemichi's actions are right or wrong. But the fact that he thinks this far means one thing - Taiju carries a deep fear that one day Takemichi will suddenly walk out of his life. And when that happens, he fears he will only be able to hear about him from afar, or catch fleeting glimpses of his silhouette. Because without Black Dragon, Takemichi's life and his own will never intersect again.
He has to think about how to keep Takemichi close - and he realizes he is not capable of doing it alone. Someone as arrogant as Taiju, who always believes he can do anything, now admits in front of others that he has no way to keep that person by his side.
If he cannot hold onto him himself, then he has to make use of others. Anyone who harbors feelings for Takemichi, no matter how deep or shallow, is technically a rival - one fewer person means one fewer competitor. But Taiju sets that thought aside. What matters to him is that Takemichi does not leave. Isn't this almost using any means necessary to bind someone to himself?
"So what is that supposed to mean? Don't say things so vaguely. I just want to keep my faith close to me."
At that moment, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs snaps both of them back to their usual selves.
"You sure took your time, brat."
Taiju puts on an irritated expression, deliberately complaining to scare Takemichi a little. Takemichi immediately clasps his hands together apologetically, then looks up at Taiju with a cheeky grin, clearly remorseful.
"Sorry, sorry. It takes a bit too long drying my hair."
Taiju lets out a small sigh, but Kokonoi and Inupee can tell - he actually looks pleased. He just likes putting on a fierce front around Takemichi.
"I dry his hair, so stop whining already."
Seeing that, Inupee frowns and counters Taiju's complaint. He is the one who insists on drying Takemichi's hair, after all. Opportunities to be alone, standing so close to him, don't come often, so Inupee makes sure to take full advantage of it. That is why he deliberately drags out the time.
Inupee loves the feeling of taking care of Takemichi - watching him from behind, the freshly bathed skin stretched smooth and soft. His face flushes the moment he sees Takemichi step out of the bathroom. If Takemichi pays attention then, he would see Inupee's ears red like ripe tomatoes.
The lingering scent of floral body wash mixed with the refreshing mint of shampoo still clings to Inupee's nose, leaving him slightly dizzy. His hands still remember the silky softness as he runs them through Takemichi's hair while drying it. He truly wants to stay by Takemichi's side longer - but time does not allow it.
Feeling regretful already, and then having to face Taiju's unpleasant expression on top of that - it really is the perfect recipe for irritation.
"It's fine. I eat fast and we still make it on time."
Takemichi looks at the hot breakfast neatly set out on the table and suddenly feels that being taken care of like this is not bad at all. Before he realizes it, he starts to like the feeling of being pampered.
Takemichi enjoys his breakfast, and the other three watch him eat with satisfaction, smiling softly. The atmosphere, overall, feels warm and gentle.
Note from Ally:
Sorry for missing the update, guys! These two chapters are a little treat to make up for the wait. Thanks a lot for your support and patience! Much luvvv to u <3
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